Thank you, television.
It was my first day at [middle school redacted]. Some kid who’s like a foot taller than me asked me to go to the dance with him next Friday. I laughed and said I don’t talk to strangers. I saw him in the bus loading zone later and he waved at me. So I flicked him off and now everyone thinks I’m a bitch. Here’s to a great start!
“Harpo’s final presence before the public came in early 1964, when he appeared on stage with singer/comedian Allan Sherman. Sherman burst into tears when Harpo, speaking for the first time to the audience, announced his retirement from the entertainment business. Comedian Steve Allen, who was in the audience, remembered that Harpo – after announcing his retirement from the stage – kept talking for several minutes to the theater audience about his career and how he would miss it all, and he kept verbally cutting Sherman off when he tried to speak. After a while, the sorrowful audience started tittering and giggling. Allen said that everyone found it charmingly ironic that the comedian Harpo Marx, having been mute on stage and screen for several decades, ‘wouldn’t shut up!’”
haha poor cats